When it became clear in early March that COVID was going to shut down the United States and weddings started to postpone, I assumed it would be a rough spring and we’d be back to normal soon enough. Of course, that was an incredibly naive prediction. As we watched the pandemic progress through summer and learned more about the virus, it was evident to my fiancé and me that our December wedding was also going to be affected. Juggling the already heightened emotions of working in the wedding industry during a pandemic was made even more challenging when I realized that I’d be experiencing it all from a bride’s perspective as well.
Many have asked about my experience but I’m glad I waited until now to write about it since so much has changed in these last seven months! To be honest, I had some really dark weeks starting around late April. This is when my first full-service wedding with A Southern Soiree was originally scheduled and my second (planned for June) started to postpone. Kendall (my fiancé) and I celebrated seven years of dating around this time, and beyond being stuck in the house as opposed to our usual tradition of going to Angus Barn for dinner, it was the first realization that we were likely going to have to make our own really hard decisions soon as well. For several weeks to come and as more postponements started happening (including my own Matron of Honor’s wedding), I was definitely depressed, terrified for the industry, and mourning my first full year in my dream job that was essentially going down the drain.
Fortunately, I’m in a much better place now! While there have been so many ups and downs, I have tried to remain grateful. So far we have not been sick, nor have any of our immediate family members or loved ones. I am even more appreciative of weddings and gatherings, and my couples that have moved forward hold the most special place in my heart for being flexible and trying to remain focused on what mattered most to them.
I’m very thankful that we have been planning a December wedding, so I’ve had plenty of time to watch things play out and see how the pandemic, as well as how the gathering restrictions, trended. My heart was shattered after helping so many couples in March through June postpone so closely to their original wedding dates. Not that my couples scheduled to wed later in the summer and fall were any more excited to start discussing postponement, but I think having more time to prepare and face the reality of the situation has its advantages. Needless to say, it has been a devastating experience for every couple in different ways.
Some of the biggest challenges have been the negativity and political arguments as a result of fear within the industry, along with the judgment amongst our vendor network. While I respect everyone’s opinion and appreciate the realists (I need those types to ground me!), I’m not sure that constant negativity is warranted on social media platforms. I’m all about planning for the worst-case but trying to speak things into existence and it has been frustrating at times for me personally when others don’t take that same approach! It has also been tense tip-toeing the line between wanting events to happen for our couples and getting the industry back on its feet, while aiming to be legally compliant and most importantly, safe. Almost all wedding vendors have been put in precarious situations throughout these last seven months, and most often they felt like a lose-lose situation. This time during the pandemic has taught me to love on my industry friends more, lift them up, and try to remember we are all doing the best we know to pivot our businesses during this time.
I do feel like I have been able to genuinely relate and sympathize with my couples and have recognized more helpful ways to support them (I can tell you 50 things *not* to say to a couple planning a wedding during a pandemic!). I have tried my best to not pull the “I’m in the same boat” card often but I think it has helped that my couples know I am guiding them from a place of true understanding. It has definitely been a challenge at times to keep my own emotions composed when consulting and consoling clients while Kendall and I have been going through the same process as well.
Since I’ve helped so many couples make decisions on their COVID weddings, I did feel prepared and informed when it was time to make our own decision (more on that soon). I am also fortunate to have an amazing team that has provided insight and support when I needed it…it’s so much easier to walk others through this process than it is to follow my own advice!
While I’ve made some peace with this crazy year, it has taken many tearful conversations, some reflection, and a lot of wine(!) to get to this point. Seriously 2021, you better act right.